Positive releases of anger.

Over the years I have communicated with many who had been taught that anger was a sin or evil, that at every moment you needed to be in any other emotional state, other than anger. You could feel guilty, you could be sad, happy, content, the list goes on and on, but not angry. I was not brought up that way, so the concept of anger being bad never crossed my mind. I know there is righteous anger, but the way we release it, and it needs to be released, determines whether it is positive or negative.

It seems everyone knows the tale of the parent getting yelled at work for something they did not do and kept  in that anger until they got home and release it on the child who then releases it on the dog. The downward spiral of anger is very harmful, and it usually is not circular, it ends on the bottom, but the process can repeat over and over again. Or it can just be that one release of an angry burst toward someone who did not have anything to do with the cause.

I have been the target, many times, of displaced anger. Most times I would like to lash out and just pummel (verbally or written) them, especially when the anger was mix with an intent to inflict personal emotional injury. That has been a very difficult skill to continually exercise, but I am thankful that I have gotten much better.

So what can be a positive release of anger? I hate to even write the word but, exercise. Thankfully that is not the only positive way, or I would be seriously in trouble. You can scream, just out loud, not words, just the scream. I would caution you as to when to use this; you do not want to be in one of the next “People of Walmart” emails, or Youtube hits. There are hundreds of thousands of articles and websites which list a cornucopia (just really like to use that word at times) of ways. What is helpful for one does nothing for another. What works one time, might not the next.  Find many that work for you.

You can talk it out. This one has never worked for me. Although I see myself more on the rational side, I can talk myself into rational ways to negatively deal with anger. Some can use exercise, I swear, I am an oddity, (liked the word better than freak, plus it was the first to come up when I clicked for the synonym) when I exercise I just get even more angry and angry, that is if I begin exercising while I am angry. It seems the more negative energy that I release in that way builds more up. I can be totally exhausted and completely ticked off. I write and usually get distracted on a word in a sentence that I want to use but cannot think of it, so I look for it, then find another one, then wonder if that word would be good in another piece that I am writing, then think about the other piece, then… I get can get totally lost in writing, so much so that I must continually read what the topic is, or the past few paragraphs to remind myself what it was that I had begun to try and communicate in the first place. I also tend to get very calm doing very intricate work, like beading (I normally use size 15s in the seed beads and 1 – 1.8 in bicones and other beads), taking a toothpick and cleaning out the little spaces that can get dirt and grime into them (on the stove, the microwave, around the sink, even the push buttons on our cordless phone) take a paint brush to the edges of the trim (we are remodeling our house, as well as have added an addition).  I also like to think of new crafts, and ways to make the craft using items normally not used that way. Or I take out the propane torch and do a little “art.” But that’s me.

There are many ways to positively release anger, and having it is not bad, remember Jesus became quite angry in the temple area at the money exchangers, and he gave up his spirit sinless, so the emotion of anger is not a sin.

One final note, if you find that writing something out to release that anger helps, before sending it (if that is your thought), think about it, what will it actually accomplish, was that person even involved, or are you transferring the anger onto an innocent bystander who happened to wander into your sight at the time?